What the hell is up with vegetarians? Looks like some one got up one fine day and had a brain wave - let’s stop eating meat and look more sickly than someone on the Lindsay Lohan diet or whatever the new rage is.
These people are going to feel a little silly when they're 95, lying in a hospital bed, urinating on themselves, pooping around, immobile and dying of absolutely nothing. As far as I’m concerned, cancer and liver failure are going to have a race to the finish line. But at least I’ll still have my witts about me, instead of losing my mind because I'm 127 years old and have no idea what is going on anymore....but I’m still alive! It's pretty much cheating death, but losing the thumb wrestling match with common sense.
You freaks won't eat anything with a face....but you'll go straight after a HEAD of lettuce, or the EYES of a potato, an EAR of corn.....but nothing with a face.
Let's face it, we're the only species with the ability to laugh, and yet the only species that deserves to be laughed at.
All of us are looking for a direction to take our lives to give it some sort of meaning, but can't you maybe just start playing golf or kidnap some children? Eating leafy greens every meal for the rest of your life is not a BALANCED DIET.
Oh my-tapdancing-god! This is absurd. My McDonalds Double Cheeseburger used to be a vegetarian, and he's not lookin' too healthy right now is he?
Do as they don't......let me know how ya feel......leaf eater..!
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Celebrities.....buh duh duh!
(That's suppose to sound "doomsdayish" for all of you newbie’s....it's ok, we can't all have special talents, because then they wouldn't be special anymore and we would all suck....instead of just you sucking.....anyways...)
Btw, this one’s a real winner. Recently I was awed by an article I read on one of the sites. I won’t lie…I have taken inputs from that write-up – but just so that YOU can understand the insane acts of your fellow beings!
So…why exactly do celebrities assume the position of all-wise and all-knowing political/spiritual/cultural advisors? Are you actually trying to tell me that someone...say....some sweet candy arse actor (I don’t want to name her), who finished a degree at Oxford, cross-dressed with an acting career (average, at that) is going to step into the ring of politics and let me know what is right or wrong?
Let me try a few others...um, how about Johnny Depp (dropped out of school at 15), Tim Robbins (1981 graduate of drama, with honors!)
These actors are EXTREMELY convincing! In fact, these folks are such good actors, and so convincing to the public congregation, that even when they ACT like they know something about politics or god knows what, some of you fools actually buy it......the best actors in the world! In fact this is wrong, and if you don't believe me, i'll track you down and kick you in your candid behind for lacking common sense. Believe it or not, YOU are most likely more competent than these people (err…did I just give YOU too much credit...?!?).
Hey, these people can go public with their opinions and share their opinions with the like minded ones. Therefore, vicariously it is their representative voice, no matter how silly/sadistic and/or stupid I think you and they may be. I believe that is everyone's right. However, most of these people have neither education nor the discipline to responsibly go head to head with some of the most educated populace of this fine country. They pretend for a living for god's sake....so don't buy into it you ass, you know more than they do.....
Moving away from that.....what the hell is with everyone getting a giant erection over what is going on with celebrities? I don't understand how anyone could give a shit about some crack-whore in her second marriage is gonna have a kid who is just going to end up in a rehab clinic at 13 anyways. Or some lamer who cannot really decide whether or not he’s in love for the umpteenth time with a dame who’s falling in and out of love in the blink of an eyelid! Is this really what makes your world go around? If so, run out into the busiest intersection near your apartment and see if you can bite the front tire of the biggest bus in oncoming traffic....please. I said please why? Because you HAVE to do it now, coz I asked nicely...!
I get to thinking that people keep track of these jackasses because it makes them feel like they "know" the person, and they're big buddies with them because they're pretty much stalking them without the celeb knowing it. Get bent; you don't know them, and they don't know you. Keep it within your boundaries. If your face looks like an ass, then stick with your assface friends and worry about what THEY are doing with their lives. This will be much more fulfilling, and much less depressing....u moron!
My friend downloaded the Paris Hilton video....alright! He’s human too! But I don't care if she can't figure out which city to start her new nightclub in, because she is a joke, and so are all of the celebrity ass-kissing dreamy wannabe’z in this world. We've glorified the biggest lunatics on the face of the planet. The only thing that is keeping us in existence is that they aren't in power. They like to feel powerful, but they're not smart enough to use power responsibly.....which comes in handy, because all of the faithful followers are following the powerless twits. Which is a wonderful relief......
Too many people are setting unreal standards based on this life that they see from a Hollywood twit. So quit dicking around, and start focussing on something more important kids. Try to change some things for the better instead of being a giant waste of space celebrity-chaser......
I'm tired of givin' u osers "gyaan" for today.......I usually don't do that, but today wasn't too great.....and I have had a big mug of coffee and am sleepless like always....so I have to impart some of my mind kickin’ jolts to lamers like you ! Yeah, U’re Welcome!!
Btw, this one’s a real winner. Recently I was awed by an article I read on one of the sites. I won’t lie…I have taken inputs from that write-up – but just so that YOU can understand the insane acts of your fellow beings!
So…why exactly do celebrities assume the position of all-wise and all-knowing political/spiritual/cultural advisors? Are you actually trying to tell me that someone...say....some sweet candy arse actor (I don’t want to name her), who finished a degree at Oxford, cross-dressed with an acting career (average, at that) is going to step into the ring of politics and let me know what is right or wrong?
Let me try a few others...um, how about Johnny Depp (dropped out of school at 15), Tim Robbins (1981 graduate of drama, with honors!)
These actors are EXTREMELY convincing! In fact, these folks are such good actors, and so convincing to the public congregation, that even when they ACT like they know something about politics or god knows what, some of you fools actually buy it......the best actors in the world! In fact this is wrong, and if you don't believe me, i'll track you down and kick you in your candid behind for lacking common sense. Believe it or not, YOU are most likely more competent than these people (err…did I just give YOU too much credit...?!?).
Hey, these people can go public with their opinions and share their opinions with the like minded ones. Therefore, vicariously it is their representative voice, no matter how silly/sadistic and/or stupid I think you and they may be. I believe that is everyone's right. However, most of these people have neither education nor the discipline to responsibly go head to head with some of the most educated populace of this fine country. They pretend for a living for god's sake....so don't buy into it you ass, you know more than they do.....
Moving away from that.....what the hell is with everyone getting a giant erection over what is going on with celebrities? I don't understand how anyone could give a shit about some crack-whore in her second marriage is gonna have a kid who is just going to end up in a rehab clinic at 13 anyways. Or some lamer who cannot really decide whether or not he’s in love for the umpteenth time with a dame who’s falling in and out of love in the blink of an eyelid! Is this really what makes your world go around? If so, run out into the busiest intersection near your apartment and see if you can bite the front tire of the biggest bus in oncoming traffic....please. I said please why? Because you HAVE to do it now, coz I asked nicely...!
I get to thinking that people keep track of these jackasses because it makes them feel like they "know" the person, and they're big buddies with them because they're pretty much stalking them without the celeb knowing it. Get bent; you don't know them, and they don't know you. Keep it within your boundaries. If your face looks like an ass, then stick with your assface friends and worry about what THEY are doing with their lives. This will be much more fulfilling, and much less depressing....u moron!
My friend downloaded the Paris Hilton video....alright! He’s human too! But I don't care if she can't figure out which city to start her new nightclub in, because she is a joke, and so are all of the celebrity ass-kissing dreamy wannabe’z in this world. We've glorified the biggest lunatics on the face of the planet. The only thing that is keeping us in existence is that they aren't in power. They like to feel powerful, but they're not smart enough to use power responsibly.....which comes in handy, because all of the faithful followers are following the powerless twits. Which is a wonderful relief......
Too many people are setting unreal standards based on this life that they see from a Hollywood twit. So quit dicking around, and start focussing on something more important kids. Try to change some things for the better instead of being a giant waste of space celebrity-chaser......
I'm tired of givin' u osers "gyaan" for today.......I usually don't do that, but today wasn't too great.....and I have had a big mug of coffee and am sleepless like always....so I have to impart some of my mind kickin’ jolts to lamers like you ! Yeah, U’re Welcome!!
One Lauu !
I've been a victim of circumstantial LOVE (as i prefer to call it) and had the glorious opportunity of having my heart removed and substituted as a "football". Yep and the bugger actually scored! At this point, i request my readers to give me a simultaneous "AWWWW". Thank u.
For a change, let's not sit & bitch & moan about this nasty little feeling of "falling in LOVE" – let’s hit the comic side of it today.
WHY does it make us spend wooping amounts of money on the opposite/same sex? WHY does it make us beat each other up? WHY does it make us beat oursleves up? WHY does it make us cry like babies ? (oh -that's ok if u really are a baby!) And for some poor lost souls, go to the extent of killing themselves or someone else? Who is responsible for this crazy circus?
Some people prefer to drink away the situation. Personally, I wudn't suggest that. Coz u eventually wake up with a hangover, feeling a 100 times more depressed about the whole thing. (I mean losing in love and drinking soo darnn much that your head is in splits! Eeeuuu!!)
The best remedy is to "fuck it" and be in company of your near and dear ones, your friends, or your family members. All u have to do is remember, that the asshole /bitch wasn't good enuf for u. And am sure ur pals would agree and tell you how shitty he/she was to u...and you r better off without him/ her. Don't be a person who wud let himself/herself be taken for granted by that asshole/bitch. Don't be at his/her disposal at the drop of a hat. All they wud do is - stamp ur hat, treat you like a door mat and walk all over your world!
It's true that u just can’t think logically when it comes to yourself. YOU need that angel (read: best friend) to pull u outta that phase. And u really don't have to try so hard.
Well...honestly - Love is a bitch too (yeah -i used to say Life is a bitch -- and then u die..but now even Love has managed to score a position for itself in the game!) Nobody can escape Love. So buckle up and safeguard ur arse. 'Coz its coming to get all of us and kick us whr it hurts the most.
For a change, let's not sit & bitch & moan about this nasty little feeling of "falling in LOVE" – let’s hit the comic side of it today.
WHY does it make us spend wooping amounts of money on the opposite/same sex? WHY does it make us beat each other up? WHY does it make us beat oursleves up? WHY does it make us cry like babies ? (oh -that's ok if u really are a baby!) And for some poor lost souls, go to the extent of killing themselves or someone else? Who is responsible for this crazy circus?
Some people prefer to drink away the situation. Personally, I wudn't suggest that. Coz u eventually wake up with a hangover, feeling a 100 times more depressed about the whole thing. (I mean losing in love and drinking soo darnn much that your head is in splits! Eeeuuu!!)
The best remedy is to "fuck it" and be in company of your near and dear ones, your friends, or your family members. All u have to do is remember, that the asshole /bitch wasn't good enuf for u. And am sure ur pals would agree and tell you how shitty he/she was to u...and you r better off without him/ her. Don't be a person who wud let himself/herself be taken for granted by that asshole/bitch. Don't be at his/her disposal at the drop of a hat. All they wud do is - stamp ur hat, treat you like a door mat and walk all over your world!
It's true that u just can’t think logically when it comes to yourself. YOU need that angel (read: best friend) to pull u outta that phase. And u really don't have to try so hard.
Well...honestly - Love is a bitch too (yeah -i used to say Life is a bitch -- and then u die..but now even Love has managed to score a position for itself in the game!) Nobody can escape Love. So buckle up and safeguard ur arse. 'Coz its coming to get all of us and kick us whr it hurts the most.
Wondering....
Eva wondered how many voices r there in ur head?? Or in Mike Tyson's head for that matter? Am guessing atleast 15 (of which most r fanged midgets!)
Eva wonder wt crazy people r really like? To them - we appear crazy...rite? The most dull, personality less, boring people think that v r crazy....How crazy is that!
Eva wondered how u gonna end up? (I mean – how u gonna die?) Personally - i don’t wanna be stabbed...I don’t mind being shot -at the age of 90 by my Jealous spouse…
Eva wondered what makes u tick? Or what stops u from ticking? Or what actually makes that ticking sound? Or y just that "ticking" sound?
Eva wondered y the run-on sentences keep running on?
Daiyum!! I gotta stop thinkin’ sometime!
Eva wonder wt crazy people r really like? To them - we appear crazy...rite? The most dull, personality less, boring people think that v r crazy....How crazy is that!
Eva wondered how u gonna end up? (I mean – how u gonna die?) Personally - i don’t wanna be stabbed...I don’t mind being shot -at the age of 90 by my Jealous spouse…
Eva wondered what makes u tick? Or what stops u from ticking? Or what actually makes that ticking sound? Or y just that "ticking" sound?
Eva wondered y the run-on sentences keep running on?
Daiyum!! I gotta stop thinkin’ sometime!
Nothing!!
Hhmmm...So…here I am…tryin to write a blog today - but I have no clue as to what am gonna write...so wteva I write now - read it peacefully - coz i don’t care a rat's arse of what u think!! (woooo....am i super***** or wt!)
No -really - i really don’t care - qhy should I ?!! U no kin o’ mine ! And even if you were…. its a shame you can’t see the finger I’m holdin’ up for you!
Ok now stop distractin’ me from my “nothing-ness”.
K .. so wt do we write about today....(yeah no painful or depressing stuff!)
Oh! I’ll tell u about things I dislike- (yeah howz tht - -so u know what I dislike & hopefully u wont do it if/when you get an opportunity to be with me.)
1) Female Conversation Timing - why do women always talk at the wrong time?? esp. the older ones (no offence to the ladies readin it-- and guys--i know u agree!) Women bloody talk when we are not in the room-- n they would b screaming their lungs out....why can’t they wait till we come into the room! Oh n to top it all - the TV is usually on (on high volume) - life jz can’t get better!
2) Repetitive use of a certain word - Oh yes - this is a big one -- People use words like "wteva", "like", "u know" - bloody so many god damn times...man its silly! There was this gal who came for an interview & used the word "like" sooo bloody many times- man I was like hey – kill me! Kill me ‘like” NOW!! She went on to say - " I am like a very social person. I like to interact with people. I am like - a people's person. Like u know - can talk the talk...like that..." Gosh! blah blah blah!! Oh btw - she was a communications expert or so she said! (Yeah like i care!)
3) People with no Manners - people find subtle pleasure in eating with their mouth open - munching on food loudly -& talk while eating - making all the possible noises one can imagine - sshheeessshhh!! All I wanna say to them is - Eeeeuuuu !! Looo-hooo-zzaaa-herrrr !!!
4) Close talkers - mumblers - all the same. If you have smthg to say - say it out loud--or dont say it at all. Hate it wen u really have to concentrate on their lips to hear wt they r sayin....hey, I’m not deaf and I don’t really want to “read” your fat lips…so be loud & clear!
So there...now u kno what pisses me off! Don’t you dare do ‘em infront of me…coz I know some really fine chops to bring you down baby!
No -really - i really don’t care - qhy should I ?!! U no kin o’ mine ! And even if you were…. its a shame you can’t see the finger I’m holdin’ up for you!
Ok now stop distractin’ me from my “nothing-ness”.
K .. so wt do we write about today....(yeah no painful or depressing stuff!)
Oh! I’ll tell u about things I dislike- (yeah howz tht - -so u know what I dislike & hopefully u wont do it if/when you get an opportunity to be with me.)
1) Female Conversation Timing - why do women always talk at the wrong time?? esp. the older ones (no offence to the ladies readin it-- and guys--i know u agree!) Women bloody talk when we are not in the room-- n they would b screaming their lungs out....why can’t they wait till we come into the room! Oh n to top it all - the TV is usually on (on high volume) - life jz can’t get better!
2) Repetitive use of a certain word - Oh yes - this is a big one -- People use words like "wteva", "like", "u know" - bloody so many god damn times...man its silly! There was this gal who came for an interview & used the word "like" sooo bloody many times- man I was like hey – kill me! Kill me ‘like” NOW!! She went on to say - " I am like a very social person. I like to interact with people. I am like - a people's person. Like u know - can talk the talk...like that..." Gosh! blah blah blah!! Oh btw - she was a communications expert or so she said! (Yeah like i care!)
3) People with no Manners - people find subtle pleasure in eating with their mouth open - munching on food loudly -& talk while eating - making all the possible noises one can imagine - sshheeessshhh!! All I wanna say to them is - Eeeeuuuu !! Looo-hooo-zzaaa-herrrr !!!
4) Close talkers - mumblers - all the same. If you have smthg to say - say it out loud--or dont say it at all. Hate it wen u really have to concentrate on their lips to hear wt they r sayin....hey, I’m not deaf and I don’t really want to “read” your fat lips…so be loud & clear!
So there...now u kno what pisses me off! Don’t you dare do ‘em infront of me…coz I know some really fine chops to bring you down baby!
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Images...
Why are there so many things in life? Why are there so many abstract questions? Why am I writing this when u all know this? Why does it always rain on me (oh this I think I know…No wait…I don’t). Why does life become miserable after a certain point? Why do we have to make choices in life? Why can’t we get everything that we want?
You see, choices are difficult to make. If a certain thing has a peculiar colour, then it lacks the intricacy. If the object is articulate, then it lacks the luster.
I mean, juz look around. Something is amiss in everything. Look at you to begin with – oh c’mon – u know it too. Either it’s the nose, the eyes, the hair, the eyebrow, the ear, the forehead, the hair inside the nose, anything/everything!! Am not sayin, I’m perfect (but neither am I denying it…)
But We all have an "image" to guard nowadays. May I ask why?? Why should people judge the way someone dresses or has piercingz or tattoos?? Are we living in such a materialistic world, where all such minute things are taken so darn seriously & commented upon, that the personality of the person is overshadowed??
Shouldn’t the deeds of a person be more important than his / her appearance?
Whatever happened to freedom of expression???
You see, choices are difficult to make. If a certain thing has a peculiar colour, then it lacks the intricacy. If the object is articulate, then it lacks the luster.
I mean, juz look around. Something is amiss in everything. Look at you to begin with – oh c’mon – u know it too. Either it’s the nose, the eyes, the hair, the eyebrow, the ear, the forehead, the hair inside the nose, anything/everything!! Am not sayin, I’m perfect (but neither am I denying it…)
But We all have an "image" to guard nowadays. May I ask why?? Why should people judge the way someone dresses or has piercingz or tattoos?? Are we living in such a materialistic world, where all such minute things are taken so darn seriously & commented upon, that the personality of the person is overshadowed??
Shouldn’t the deeds of a person be more important than his / her appearance?
Whatever happened to freedom of expression???
Oh Come On' ....
When a person is oppressed by intense and seemingly insoluble moral dilemmas, or when grief on loss of dear ones etch away all the bright colours of life, or where a broken heart brings with it the loss of emotional security, what standards of normalcy of behaviour could be formulated and applied?
Theories of mind with cognate ideas of perception and consciousness encompass a wide range of thoughts, more ontological than epistemological. Theories of mental phenomena are diverse and include the dualist concept- shared by Descartes and Sigmund Freud- of the separateness of the existence of the physical or the material world as distinguished from the non-material world with its existence only spatially and not temporarily.
Another theory stresses the neurological basis of the mental phenomenon by asserting the functional correlation of the neurological arrangements of the brain with mental phenomena.
The behaviourist tradition, on the other hand, interprets all reference to mind and constructs action out of behaviour. Functionalism, however, seems to assert that mind is the logical state of physical systems. But all this seems to put forth a view that suggests, in varying degrees, that the psychometric control over the mind operates at a level not yet fully taught to science.The arcane infallibility of science has not fully pervaded the study of the non-material dimensions of being.
----Daiyum !!!! did u comprehend even a sentence of tht ??? i didn't !!!!i jz wanted to baffle all o u !
Theories of mind with cognate ideas of perception and consciousness encompass a wide range of thoughts, more ontological than epistemological. Theories of mental phenomena are diverse and include the dualist concept- shared by Descartes and Sigmund Freud- of the separateness of the existence of the physical or the material world as distinguished from the non-material world with its existence only spatially and not temporarily.
Another theory stresses the neurological basis of the mental phenomenon by asserting the functional correlation of the neurological arrangements of the brain with mental phenomena.
The behaviourist tradition, on the other hand, interprets all reference to mind and constructs action out of behaviour. Functionalism, however, seems to assert that mind is the logical state of physical systems. But all this seems to put forth a view that suggests, in varying degrees, that the psychometric control over the mind operates at a level not yet fully taught to science.The arcane infallibility of science has not fully pervaded the study of the non-material dimensions of being.
----Daiyum !!!! did u comprehend even a sentence of tht ??? i didn't !!!!i jz wanted to baffle all o u !
"There are two kinds of people: the ones who have to be told, and the ones who figure it out all by themselves" - Tom Clancy
I'm pretty sure there are more than 2 kinds of people.
True, there may be
1) The ones who have to be told, and
2) The ones who figure it out all by themselves......but there are also...
3) The ones who had to be told, but later on when asked to do it again, had to ask again....
4) The ones who were too intoxicated to remember what they were told.....or completely rearrange what they were told..
5) Assholes: Who, no matter how many times you tell them, they won't believe you.
This list is endless.....but I think you get the idea......and if you don't, you are technically a #5~
I'm pretty sure there are more than 2 kinds of people.
True, there may be
1) The ones who have to be told, and
2) The ones who figure it out all by themselves......but there are also...
3) The ones who had to be told, but later on when asked to do it again, had to ask again....
4) The ones who were too intoxicated to remember what they were told.....or completely rearrange what they were told..
5) Assholes: Who, no matter how many times you tell them, they won't believe you.
This list is endless.....but I think you get the idea......and if you don't, you are technically a #5~
Caffeine (the love of my life)
I think i'm slowly becoming addicted to coffee......and not even the quality stuff, but the stuff that tastes like pure caffeine/nicotine kinds...and is darker than the mines.
I roll outta bed, fashionably late because I think i'm a big deal.......and i'm really not, it's just that nobody cares if I come and go as I please. And you may go ahead and assume that I set the bar pretty high in the "slacker" category.
I make coffee for maself every day, thrice a day, minimum. And I like it dark and strong and almost as bitter as the bean crushed between the teeth would taste like. Its viscosity is astonishing. And its after taste – simply tongue twisting, arousing the senses, opening the buds (or probably closing them).
(I think I just used a pretty crappy description that only half of you will probably comprehend.....sorry, i'll start swearing more for the sake of you vocabularily challenged people. Happy losa? I shouldn't talk, because I may or may not have just made up the descriptive word "vocabularily" because it sounded neat.....) Ok, shut up, you're getting me off track again.....stop it. Say "sorry" to me right now....anyways...
So, every day, while trying to shake off whatever cranial fog that has overridden my ability to carry out any cognitive thinking, I go and grab a cup of joy. However, I can never find the fine cut-off line of when it is time to STOP DRINKING THE SHIT. I'm going to now show you the comparison of coffee and meth, that has me willingly considering caffeine rehab.
Disclaimer: If you are NOT familiar with "caffeine", it is a bitter alkaloid (C8 H10 N4 O2) and is used as a stimulant......and you're stupid. I'm not laughing, you're laughing, i'm not laughing......
So I gulp down cup number one, early morning…no problemo. So i'm feeling a bit spry at this point, and hell, that one was pretty good. So the obvious effects of #1 are that my eyes widen a bit, feeling a few chills flow through the body. Nothing too distracting.
The thing about cup #1, is that it begins to bring on the urge to #2 in your pants, because caffeine has the tendency to cause "Bowel Motility". And so, the convulsions begin, and I can't stop singing the lyrics to the "Ghost Busters" theme song.And after the wonderful relief…its time for cup #2, by afternoon. Let's see what joy it can bring to me.
So I say to myself, "Darn! This stuff is wonderful, maybe the best thing that's happened to me", and I'd have to agree with me on this one. This cup is REALLY good. So good in fact, that I don't realize that my taste buds have gone into hibernation because the flavor would most likely be like taking a bunch of 5 year old Coco Puffs, crushing them up, rolling a turd in them.....then scraping off the Coco Puffs and putting what's left in your mouth.
Well I need my daily dose (as I like to call it) to keep up with my skills.
Number three, by evening, is where things get crazy. And after the 3rd cup, I jump outta my house with a firm determination to take my neighour’s dog (will explain the concept of “neighbour’s dog” later) for a walk. Or so I’d like to believe. Coz usually it’s him taking me for a walk not vice versa!
So…in the elevator I try to prove how headstrong I am. I attempt to bang my head to the walls of the elevator…which as you can imagine, does me little justice and offers an EXTREMELY slim chance of not having a friggin headache....like 0% chance, which for you mathemagicians, is not a good chance.....and if you're not a mathemagician, just trust me on this one.
So then for the rest of the evening as I walk “half my dog” i'm all strung out and wondering what i'm doing with my life.
Those open ended questions start boppin up. The quest for life begins. The weirdness of things start setting in. I start talking to Michael Clark (half my dog) looking for answers. Seems like I whine more than he does. And his look really baffles me…as if trying to say – “girl u gotta stop jabbering. U giving me a headache!” Honestly, at one point I really thought I heard him say that !
Moral of the story.....everything is ok in moderation....I think it's time for me to stop talking for a little bit.
I roll outta bed, fashionably late because I think i'm a big deal.......and i'm really not, it's just that nobody cares if I come and go as I please. And you may go ahead and assume that I set the bar pretty high in the "slacker" category.
I make coffee for maself every day, thrice a day, minimum. And I like it dark and strong and almost as bitter as the bean crushed between the teeth would taste like. Its viscosity is astonishing. And its after taste – simply tongue twisting, arousing the senses, opening the buds (or probably closing them).
(I think I just used a pretty crappy description that only half of you will probably comprehend.....sorry, i'll start swearing more for the sake of you vocabularily challenged people. Happy losa? I shouldn't talk, because I may or may not have just made up the descriptive word "vocabularily" because it sounded neat.....) Ok, shut up, you're getting me off track again.....stop it. Say "sorry" to me right now....anyways...
So, every day, while trying to shake off whatever cranial fog that has overridden my ability to carry out any cognitive thinking, I go and grab a cup of joy. However, I can never find the fine cut-off line of when it is time to STOP DRINKING THE SHIT. I'm going to now show you the comparison of coffee and meth, that has me willingly considering caffeine rehab.
Disclaimer: If you are NOT familiar with "caffeine", it is a bitter alkaloid (C8 H10 N4 O2) and is used as a stimulant......and you're stupid. I'm not laughing, you're laughing, i'm not laughing......
So I gulp down cup number one, early morning…no problemo. So i'm feeling a bit spry at this point, and hell, that one was pretty good. So the obvious effects of #1 are that my eyes widen a bit, feeling a few chills flow through the body. Nothing too distracting.
The thing about cup #1, is that it begins to bring on the urge to #2 in your pants, because caffeine has the tendency to cause "Bowel Motility". And so, the convulsions begin, and I can't stop singing the lyrics to the "Ghost Busters" theme song.And after the wonderful relief…its time for cup #2, by afternoon. Let's see what joy it can bring to me.
So I say to myself, "Darn! This stuff is wonderful, maybe the best thing that's happened to me", and I'd have to agree with me on this one. This cup is REALLY good. So good in fact, that I don't realize that my taste buds have gone into hibernation because the flavor would most likely be like taking a bunch of 5 year old Coco Puffs, crushing them up, rolling a turd in them.....then scraping off the Coco Puffs and putting what's left in your mouth.
Well I need my daily dose (as I like to call it) to keep up with my skills.
Number three, by evening, is where things get crazy. And after the 3rd cup, I jump outta my house with a firm determination to take my neighour’s dog (will explain the concept of “neighbour’s dog” later) for a walk. Or so I’d like to believe. Coz usually it’s him taking me for a walk not vice versa!
So…in the elevator I try to prove how headstrong I am. I attempt to bang my head to the walls of the elevator…which as you can imagine, does me little justice and offers an EXTREMELY slim chance of not having a friggin headache....like 0% chance, which for you mathemagicians, is not a good chance.....and if you're not a mathemagician, just trust me on this one.
So then for the rest of the evening as I walk “half my dog” i'm all strung out and wondering what i'm doing with my life.
Those open ended questions start boppin up. The quest for life begins. The weirdness of things start setting in. I start talking to Michael Clark (half my dog) looking for answers. Seems like I whine more than he does. And his look really baffles me…as if trying to say – “girl u gotta stop jabbering. U giving me a headache!” Honestly, at one point I really thought I heard him say that !
Moral of the story.....everything is ok in moderation....I think it's time for me to stop talking for a little bit.
Sheesshh!!!
I saw a commercial for Final Destination IV.
This struck me odd, because I figured the first time they mentioned that it was THE Final Destination, they knew what the fuck they were talking about. How can you have more than one if it is the "Final" anything?
Let me try to contrast and compare other "Finals" that we are familiar with to prove my point:
1. "You're finally here".....not...."You're finally here for the 4th friggin’ time" (the word "friggin’" makes anything that much cooler and clairvoyant.)
2. "I have a final exam coming up".....not......"I have three finals in this class and then a final final at the end of the fourth trimester, second verse, of ye paragonal googleplex fortnight."---see, the second is such a ridiculous use of "final" that it completely threw off the integrity of the entire conversation....the conversation couldn't even handle it.
SOOOOOOO, as you can clearly see. Final Destination IV!? No thanks mister. You had your finish III FD’s ago and you need to just walk away from the title.......the "Final Title", which you got 3 more of later on down the road............god dammit.
This struck me odd, because I figured the first time they mentioned that it was THE Final Destination, they knew what the fuck they were talking about. How can you have more than one if it is the "Final" anything?
Let me try to contrast and compare other "Finals" that we are familiar with to prove my point:
1. "You're finally here".....not...."You're finally here for the 4th friggin’ time" (the word "friggin’" makes anything that much cooler and clairvoyant.)
2. "I have a final exam coming up".....not......"I have three finals in this class and then a final final at the end of the fourth trimester, second verse, of ye paragonal googleplex fortnight."---see, the second is such a ridiculous use of "final" that it completely threw off the integrity of the entire conversation....the conversation couldn't even handle it.
SOOOOOOO, as you can clearly see. Final Destination IV!? No thanks mister. You had your finish III FD’s ago and you need to just walk away from the title.......the "Final Title", which you got 3 more of later on down the road............god dammit.
Forgive & Forget...
Isn’t this what all preachers preach? And all teachers teach? Forgive and forget.But can we ever do both? Together?? I mean, forgive AND forget?!
Personally, even if I forgive someone, I can never forget the wrong done to me. Be it in business, or in personal life. Those incidents leave such imprints on my mind, that its hard to erase even a single iota.As I said earlier, I can forgive a person – but not forget the things he/she has done. But then, what’s the point in forgiving I wonder…coz if am not gonna forget anything – it’s gonna pinch me hard every time the incident is mentioned, and I would feel the pain all over again. It’s only for people with really kind souls to do this deed.It’s really hard for a human to Forgive and Forget and move on. Tell me honestly, can and will our present ever forgive and forget our past?
Personally, even if I forgive someone, I can never forget the wrong done to me. Be it in business, or in personal life. Those incidents leave such imprints on my mind, that its hard to erase even a single iota.As I said earlier, I can forgive a person – but not forget the things he/she has done. But then, what’s the point in forgiving I wonder…coz if am not gonna forget anything – it’s gonna pinch me hard every time the incident is mentioned, and I would feel the pain all over again. It’s only for people with really kind souls to do this deed.It’s really hard for a human to Forgive and Forget and move on. Tell me honestly, can and will our present ever forgive and forget our past?
WHY?!?!?!?!?!??!?!
Now, for the moment you've all been waiting for.......it's time to get retarded.
Why do I have to justify every little deed I do? Why is it wrong if I achieve my goals my own way – even if it means waiting a little longer than usual? Why am I desperate to find something before my life is over?Why is there light only at the end of the tunnel? What happened to the guiding light in the middle? Why are we stuck in a world we hate?
Why must my pals who have GFs and BFs suddenly seem different? Why do people stick to their cell phones like leeches? Why do they have less time for greater things in life like- parties, booze, and sleepovers? Why don’t people believe in flirtatious flings? Why does wasting my precious little time and freedom on an egoistic dog, with wild airs, not matter to me? Why do I behave the way I do? Why do people stab in the back?
Why do we live in a hypocritical society, which tries to alienate itself from new concepts, terming them WESTERN? Why are these people the same individuals who tease, molest and rape women? Why do certain individuals think they should tell us what we should so and what not? Why should they think they have a right to govern our lives? Why do we quietly listen to their crap and not raise a voice or simply stick a rusted, metal stick up their backside?Why do some so-called ‘wise’ people tell us what to watch and what not? Why don’t they realize that if they don’t like a particular thing they can surf the channel or turn off the TV or simply shut their God damn eyes?
Why are some people cool and some not? Why doesn’t everyone understand that there is no such thing as cool or uncool, but simply marketing strategies to sell stuff through known faces? Why are people dumb enough to fall for that?Why don’t we have preachers like Cobain anymore? Why can’t we have artists like Floyd, Metallica, ACDC and Ozzy? Why do we have to settle for Limp Bizkit? Why do people think John is more attractive than Brad Pitt? Why is Mallika a loud mouth Queen (who cannot pronounce FIDO properly)?
Why do we have to fall in love with the wrong people (till, of course, the right one’s come along)? Why is life so ironic? Why should my blues encircle my happiness and eventually engulf it? Why does time fly fast when you want it to stop? Why do we all get just 2 seconds of fame?Why is it not funny when it happens to us? Why do we feel no one understands us? Why do we have to be kicked esp. when we are down? Why should bullies push us around?
Why do we have to submit to parental authority?Why is a live-in relationship not acceptable even if I want it? Why do I have to marry within 30 days, be employed and have kids? Why would an arranged marriage with a stranger turn out perfect? Why won’t that unknown someone not turn out to be a psycho?Why do only half the people who read this take my thoughts seriously? Why do the rest wonder about my condition and hope I find solace in asylum? Why should some guys reading this actually perceive me to be interesting in a weird kinda way? Why would I never get to meet them?
Why is the world like this? Why does it suck to be a part of it?Why am I asking such open ended questions????Why would I never find my answers and still continue to live with whatever life I’m endowed with? WHY???
Why do I have to justify every little deed I do? Why is it wrong if I achieve my goals my own way – even if it means waiting a little longer than usual? Why am I desperate to find something before my life is over?Why is there light only at the end of the tunnel? What happened to the guiding light in the middle? Why are we stuck in a world we hate?
Why must my pals who have GFs and BFs suddenly seem different? Why do people stick to their cell phones like leeches? Why do they have less time for greater things in life like- parties, booze, and sleepovers? Why don’t people believe in flirtatious flings? Why does wasting my precious little time and freedom on an egoistic dog, with wild airs, not matter to me? Why do I behave the way I do? Why do people stab in the back?
Why do we live in a hypocritical society, which tries to alienate itself from new concepts, terming them WESTERN? Why are these people the same individuals who tease, molest and rape women? Why do certain individuals think they should tell us what we should so and what not? Why should they think they have a right to govern our lives? Why do we quietly listen to their crap and not raise a voice or simply stick a rusted, metal stick up their backside?Why do some so-called ‘wise’ people tell us what to watch and what not? Why don’t they realize that if they don’t like a particular thing they can surf the channel or turn off the TV or simply shut their God damn eyes?
Why are some people cool and some not? Why doesn’t everyone understand that there is no such thing as cool or uncool, but simply marketing strategies to sell stuff through known faces? Why are people dumb enough to fall for that?Why don’t we have preachers like Cobain anymore? Why can’t we have artists like Floyd, Metallica, ACDC and Ozzy? Why do we have to settle for Limp Bizkit? Why do people think John is more attractive than Brad Pitt? Why is Mallika a loud mouth Queen (who cannot pronounce FIDO properly)?
Why do we have to fall in love with the wrong people (till, of course, the right one’s come along)? Why is life so ironic? Why should my blues encircle my happiness and eventually engulf it? Why does time fly fast when you want it to stop? Why do we all get just 2 seconds of fame?Why is it not funny when it happens to us? Why do we feel no one understands us? Why do we have to be kicked esp. when we are down? Why should bullies push us around?
Why do we have to submit to parental authority?Why is a live-in relationship not acceptable even if I want it? Why do I have to marry within 30 days, be employed and have kids? Why would an arranged marriage with a stranger turn out perfect? Why won’t that unknown someone not turn out to be a psycho?Why do only half the people who read this take my thoughts seriously? Why do the rest wonder about my condition and hope I find solace in asylum? Why should some guys reading this actually perceive me to be interesting in a weird kinda way? Why would I never get to meet them?
Why is the world like this? Why does it suck to be a part of it?Why am I asking such open ended questions????Why would I never find my answers and still continue to live with whatever life I’m endowed with? WHY???
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
