Been there…Done that !

Many of us use this phrase…I agree…but how many of those many people have actually lived it ??
Well…I can confidently say that I’ve almost been there…done that.
Yeah yeah hang on…I’ll give u the finer details to criticize too.

Till that blessed day I thought I’d been there…done that. And when I did something more…I realized how not close I was to that phrase.
I had an opportunity to venture out to the market to run an errand.
Wonder why I chose that day to dress up kinda “hot” – black polo neck sweater, awesome fit demins, and my $80 boots from USA !! My chic haircut, vibrant smile and confidence of looking “wow” added the extra spring to my walk. (For those of you, who don’t know the value of Boots for a gal, shame on you!)
A thing to admire – I sure did look great. And if u can’t digest the fact that I really did look “hot”, good for u that u can’t c the finger I’m holding up for u !

So, there I was, with a friend who drove me to the market. He diligently parked his car in the most dingy of all places and me being the smarter of the lot tried to squeeze maself out of the narrow space. (He parked his car a wee bit close to a shady wall and to save him he trouble I agreed to get outta the car without any fuss.)
We went to the mart, did what we were there for and had some really nice coffee (ahhh…that sure felt good – before sadness struck this happy soul).

Once back in the car, both of us smelled something funny. We rolled down the window thinking it was the slimy area that was causing the stink. But the foul smell jz didn’t seem to leave. And driving out a few yards the stench was unbearable. We stopped. Put on the lights to check what was so friggin’ wrong. And yeah. It had to be me !
Unknowingly I had stepped in “poop” that too human poop!
I shrieked!
And so did he.

I did so coz I was in filth. Rather…MY BOOTS seemed ruined. And he shrieked coz his car was spoilt coz of me! Well….at that point I didn’t really care about the car. MY BOOTS WERE IN SHIT !

We immediately stopped near the pavement. I got out jumpin’ high and low tryin to scrape the shit outta my BOOTS. I used a lot of paper to get the filth outta ma prized possessions. Used water. Used mud. Used everything I could to get ‘em clean. I even sprayed it with some really expensive perfume that I usually carry around with me (to use when others “stink”).

Olryt, I’ve been in a lotta mess whole ma life. But this was “new”. This definitely showed me that there’s more to life than just falling around, getting drunk and falling around, playing ball and falling around, walking down the stairs and slipping at the speed of light, and…oh basically being so close to mother earth.

Oh before I forget, I really admire the patience my friend holds. Hats off to u man!! I mean I kept shrieking about my boots as he helped me scrape off the poop; then he cleaned his car; helped me regain my senses.

So yeah…what I’m tryin to say is – don’t just say “been there done that” jz coz it sounds all “cool” & “hip” and makes you sound like a wise ass (or rather a wise crack). Use the words only when u’ve actually “been there – done that”.

Yeah u pea-brain I’m not using it eva again – I mean the phrase!!

As for the boots – the first thing I did when I got home was clean ‘em thoroughly with cloth, let them dry a while before putting Johnson’s baby powder (stop laffin’ shmuck…so what if that’s what I use!) and then spraying some really really expensive cologne in my room and moving my boots in air so that they’d catch the fragrance.

And also at this point I’d like to mention that I did not say “Why Me Lord!??! Why Me?!!”
My mom did that for me. (She went “Why does it have to be u always?”)

No one knowz WHY!
But all I do know now that always wear “high” heels…u neva know when u’d step into deep shit!